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- Using them for every infraction,
large or small. It is better to limit time-outs to serious transgressions,
such as limit testing or hitting, so you don't dilute the impact
or inspire resentment.
- Postponing. It is better not to dangle
the threat of a time-out for later, as in "when we get home" or
as soon as I'm finished here."
- Failing to follow through. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Always follow through.
- Giving
a child too much control. You are the parent. You decide how
discipline measures begin and end, including how long a time-out
should last; you should be the one with the timer, not your child.
- Not
explaining why you are using a time-out. Never spring one out
of the blue. Make it clear that your child's actions were not
okay and he needs a break. You don't need to give a long-winded
explanation, but you do need to make the rules clear.
- Showing
your anger by yelling or jerking your child over to the time-out
chair. Model calmness. "I asked you to
stop that. Let's sit down and cool off now." Don't get
into debates or arguments. (Jerking your child to the corner
communicates that you are powerful-not that you are right.
- Expecting
magical results. Recognize time-outs for what they are--a
way to help your child to regain control. Truly achieving
this goal requires time and patience on the part of a parent.
It is what loving discipline is all about.
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